Well the desire to cheat is growing stronger and stronger. I want to be bad. I wanna do something that’s exciting, risky, wrong, immoral. Yes yes I should be stoned cuz i know im a horrible person but this lust is just getting to me. I ended up slowly posting on Reddit form to meet someone. It was scare but it felt so alive. Ughh but unfortunately one of the downsides is when we start to talk and share the person ghost. Maybe it’s cuz of the dad bod or my skink color. Idk somedays I feel that hurts my chances and no one wants to desire and lust after me.. but I don’t know. Everything kind of mumbled and jumbled in my head right now. I just needed a place to share how a good Christian husband wants to be bad!