My partner and have been married a little over a year, we just had our 6 year anniversary a couple months ago, & been friends for almost 9, and I just found out today that he was lying about being loyal back in 2021. For some context, 5 months after moving in together, I received a message on Instagram from "userxxxxx" saying that my husband, bf at the time, was cheating on me. She said that he had messaged her on FetLife, and they had been talking for the last two weeks. When she ask if he had a girlfriend he told her he didn't. I asked her if they had sex an she said no, he was planing on it though and she did give him oral twice. She sent me screenshots from iMessage and Snapchat, and sent his contact card for proof. When I got home from work I asked him if he had been cheating and he looked surprised by the question. I showed him the messages with the anonymous girl. He said he wasn't cheating, he went through his phone to show me he wasn't. There was nothing to show that he was cheating, and when we went to his email and there was a fetlife account activation, he swore it wasn't his. He started saying that his account had been hacked, and would explain how the person messaging me had pictures of him that were saved in the cloud and Snapchat memories since his email and password was the same for his accounts. He checked the back up email and it wasn't one of his or mine and one he said he didn't recognize. He was worried it was an abusive ex that is notorious for making new profiles and adding him, and because he blocks them every time, he said she was coming after me to get his attention. We chatted with a friend that has worked in government and Internet security and he said it was very likely that the account had been hacked, and that we'd be surprised how many people this happens to. With my husbands information being public on business cards, and how easy it is to make iMessage conversations and change names on Snapchat, I believed him. Over the years despite choosing to believe him, it never fully sat right in my gut but I chalked that up to insecurities from the previous abuse I had experienced with my 2 ex's; there were some other situations that I caught him in minor lies which he did fess up to when I brought them up before we got married. However, this particular situation has never left my mind and I still question it to this day. The girl that messaged me had given me her first name and I had started to do some digging. I potentially had found her on Snapchat months ago, I didn't even remember adding her, but today she added me back and she asked if we knew each other. I told her that I was hoping to find a Instagram connection I had made a few years ago, but seemed I had the wrong person and apologized for bothering them. Her response was is your husband "leo"? I responded with yes and she said I had the right person and it was her that messaged me in 2021... I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I'm not really one to talk about these kind of issues with family or friends, so I don't feel like I have anyone to tell. I don't know if I even want to go through a separation and divorce. Our relationship has significantly shifted since then, and he's not the same person, and acts very differently than he did then. I don't get horrible gut feelings that things are off like I did back then, but idk if that's just because I have been dealing with health issues this last year and our focus has been on getting my body healed and healthy again. I guess I'm just looking for advice, from both sides on leaving or staying. 😔