Been with my partner for 8 years now , 3 months ago she woke me up late one night after I fell asleep, telling me she really needs , to talk it’s serious. I sit up and listen as she says she’s been talking to another guy for a couple years now. She starts telling me it was for attention , she just sent him pictures and videos and told him anything he wanted to hear.(at the time I didn’t want to look at her phone I was in shock) I didn’t know what to say my first response was did you sleep with him. Her response was no at first. The only reason she woke me up and told me because the guy called her after 8pm that night and apparently this wasn’t normal , so she figured it was the Man’s Wife. She couldn’t sleep and didn’t feel good was the reason behind waking me up and telling me. After that she then told me she had sex with him twice , I don’t know if anything else physically happened.. I asked her if I was at our house, in our bed , she said yes to both. She slept with him maybe a year ago I can’t confirm.
I do love her and I couldn’t see myself with anyone else by my side. She was apologetic it said it was always going to be me and it was just for attention. She won’t tell me what made her sleep with those two times , I feel like it’s my fault I took her for granted and was basically an oblivious idiot to this affair absolutely clueless. She blocked the guys number ,We told each other we would get counseling of some sort ether individual or as a couple. I gave some effort to find a counselor but she isn’t willing to go yet and isn’t showing effort, I know she is extremely ashamed. A week after this I couldn’t sleep , got on her phone and saw her deleted text messages of almost 4000 messages between the 2 . I couldn’t help myself and recovered the texts so I could see them for myself. I spent 2 maybe 3 hours looking through them didn’t even get close to the end. She calls him daddy and says I love you a lot through out the texts, she will also call me daddy durning sex, so that hurt. Tons of nudes , some videos between them pleasuring them selves while at work in the restroom and other videos like that none with each other but like I said I wasn’t close to getting to the end before she woke up and I handed her phone and let her know I saw them and him. I asked her if she loved him and” she said no It was always been you it was always going to be you “ The text are extremely sexual , I’m called out a lot during the text some normal stuff , almost like she’s keeping him updated for example She let him know I got a VR for free because I won a raffle , other text would be like i fell asleep with his soft cock in my hand or sometimes just telling him I’m about our sex life. Complaining to him about me and my lack of caring . It hurt me reading them so much but I just couldn’t stop. She won’t tell me where he works or his name. I figured it out wasn’t to hard he’s a local news reporter worked with her 4 or 5 years ago at a grocery store, I also found his wife. My confidence is gone , I think about this at least everyday , am I good enough ?, is it my fault? Am I just an idiot for staying. 8 years of my life and I don’t want to see just be a waste.