Its been a couple months and yet i am absolutely broken still. One of my closest friends and my partner cheated on me. It happened over two weeks and most times, at friend gatherings where I was present and so were our other close friends. I was lied to the whole time until they cornered me one day and told me the truth. I cannot even begin to explain how earth shattering it was and still is. This is a friend i made in school and kept till now, (we are all 30) and this is a partner of 8 years , who never ever did anything of the sort before.

Both assured me it was a terrible mistake and they do not want each other in any way at all. The apologies are real, i see the pain and suffering they are in even if its of their own making. But even since they have shown me in actions and more how much they regret their actions and have also cut off all communication amongst each other for my peace.

I did couples therapy with the partner, we also took a 2 month break with clear boudaries set and it actually did help me heal . The friend has tried a lot to re-establish the bond we had and i appreciate that too. But since it has not even been a whole year, I am still distant and on gaurd with both. I know cheating and that too this kind is unforgivable for some but i stayed back seeing the changes they made and the love they have for me. Its not an easy decision and hence I am still in so much pain. But i have forgiven them and I do want to someday be okay again. Build a new reality atleast if we cant go back to the old one.

I guess I dont have any questions to ask just a lot of pain to share. I am still consumed by how i was lied to, how they did it when i was in the next room literally and how little they thought about me to act in this disgusting manner. What hurts even more is the friend i shared my whole life with, i cant even text them anymore. And the partner i was gonna marry someday, i now tiptoe around unsure of if we will ever reach that place again. But i still love them believe it or not and yeah. In a world of pain and hurt and i just want to be happy again . So exhausted.