I've been with a girl on more than off for a whole and difficult decade. The longest relations I've had not sure about her, and on one of our whatever called breaks where I know but can't prove so much her infidelity blah blah, anyhow I was at a friend's house may he r.i.p! There was a really cute girl he had over for company and I tended to flirt a little much it seemed to bother her somewhat in my eyes and she went to lay down after telling me to chill she was wanting to see what was up between the two of them and I left and went home. It's all a blur on how it happened because I don't do this at all but I made a comment to him and said man I'd go home cause seeing what I saw as she bent over digging in her bag across the room I said I'd be all over that and he replied he had it and if I wanted I could go for which made it very awkward as I told her that and it seemed to not bother as much idk but I invited her to a room cause my house was and still is trashed. What turned from a supposed 1 night stand ended up in my mind of misery to this day and I'm confused.. All it took was her laying her head on my shoulder and we laid there for the rest of the night I don't recall even thinking about more sex during that time just a complete loss of time and everything was the most peaceful time I've had since and idk before that when.. she fit perfectly with my arm around her as we walked and my lap was her seat anytime but I denied it because how could it be so perfect justvlike that and it bothered me I loved it so much I hated it cause I knew it was going to hurt badly. Was it all pretend, I wasn't strong enough to stand up and show anyways she'll never know anyways she's gone and I'm sick of this weighing me down!!