I have gone through 3 online doms in the past 2 months since I started chastity. I started out on my own for about a week and felt like it would be more fun if someone would check on me. That guy quickly overstepped my boundaries and asked for pictures and videos of me riding a dildo while locked up.

Then I had a dom that I had some fun with but I felt like my satisfaction of the dynamic was not part of the equation. Ultimately, he ghosted me. When he did, I was actually kind of glad to move on from him, because he was constantly asking if I was comfortable showing that I wore a small buttplug followed by a medium buttplug and/or using a dildo. I was the one handling all of the logistics while he sat back and enjoyed the pictures...

While in the final days of that second dom, I was talking to various other doms and subs and found a lot in common (initially) with a dom who had way more experience. We decided to take small steps to eventually start a dynamic. He had very VERY long-term goals/plans/ambitions/whatever to become more and more involved with my day-to-day. Last night, we discussed that although he was having a good time now he felt like something was missing, which was heavy depersonalization/humiliation which is the polar opposite of what I'm looking for. We decided that the dynamic was not sustainable long-term and we'll continue as friends.

I haven't been locked for 3 days and I just feel so tired and defeated after all this... I want to self-lock but I keep thinking "what's the point if self-locking isn't even half as fun as with someone else?".