This has been always an issue for me since I was a kid. For context, I’m the only child, but I’m not the spoiled type. I never thought of being one too. Di siya bagay nako and it sounds foolish. Pero sa akong di pagka-spoiled, I’ve reached a point where I just agree with people, especially my parents, para wa nay gubot. Ending, I’ve always been a people-pleaser ever since.

Now, the resentment ug tanang pangluod sukad-sukad kay nagsugod nag panggawas. I’m still that people-pleaser, but everytime I want to do something pero di ko sugtan, mu-utong na lang ko ug magpugong hangtod mawa sa akong buot ang nahitabo. Paminaw nako, sige na lang kong gipugngan ug gamay na lang, mahimo na kong way buot. Maynalang gani kay wa.

And to think nga I’m already 22, graduated from college, and providing for us with my work, I’m expecting a little more leeway na unta sa akong mga decisions. But no, I don’t have that luxury. Kung di man gani ang mga tawo ang mupugong nako, akong konsensya ug mga prinsipyo ang mupugong. And I’m starting to breed hatred for that, everything related to that.

Sometimes, I just want to be alone na lang. No obligations, wa kargo-de-konsensya, ug free to do whatever I want, granted nga they’re not destructive and distracting. But I can’t — way laing mubarog para nila kundi ako. Okay ra unta, pero dugay na kong gipi-od ug gipugngan. Makapungot na.