I was brought up Protestant amongst a number of denominations. I have been very religious and got involved with my schools catholic community. I was strongly considering and plan to do RCIA.

However, I’m debating weather or not to do this at all. The thing is I’m gay and have been struggling for pretty much my entire life since I realized it like 10 years ago. I don’t have many friends here at school and church isn’t going to be the place I make those connections. People are already strong friends and seldom let others in.

I want to purse a relationship which I’ve never had officially. I don’t want to lie and use someone by pursing one with a woman.

I’ve prayed for almost a decade now and it’s pretty clear that I will not be made straight. I seriously struggle with loneliest and a relationship is one way I can mitigate that. I’ve tried every other method.

Also I want to finally have a chance to experience what normal people do. I’ve had suicidal thoughts as a result of the circumstances and events in my life since I was young and recently am reaching a breaking point. I’ve even started to question weather god truly exist.

I’m hesitant to do RCIA or even continue going to church if I will be shunned for having a boyfriend.

TLDR: should I do RCIA if I’m going to purse a same sex relationship still.