I've had complaints about people being matched with someone, but then the person they're matched with:

1. Simply doesn't respond

2. Ghosts them for no reason

1. Says they "suddenly realized" they're "not ready for a relationship at this time"

These are rather unfair to the person you matched with, as they could've been matched with another one of their preferences. It's essentially a wasted match. So to reduce these instances, I'm adding a conditional cost to our matchmaking.

If you get matched and do any of the above three actions, you will be temporarily banned from the matchmaker form for two iterations. If you try to use a different username to get around the temporary ban, we have methods to catch you, and you will be permanently banned from the matchmaker form.

Please note that I'm not trying to be extremely harsh! I generally lean against regulations, and these are pretty easy to avoid.

To avoid 1, please check back here at least once a week to see if you've been matched (if you're using an alt). I'll give people a 1-week period to respond to their matches before taking action. Alternatively, if you check their Reddit account before responding and don't like what you see, then just tell them.

To avoid 2, please just tell them that you don't think it's going to work out. I'm not looking for grand, PhD-level argumentation here. Literally just copy this template: "Sorry, I don't think it's going to work out between us because ___________." And you're golden. Just say why you don't want to continue chatting, instead of just ghosting them.

To avoid 3, just message me at any time while the matchmaker form is still active to tell me that you want to be taken out of the pool, if you ever get cold feet, if you get into a relationship elsewhere, etc. I will make a post in the final days explicitly detailing when the matchmaker form will be closed and I (and volunteers) will begin the matching process. Just message me at any time before then if you want to be taken out of the pool.

Also, to avoid any bad incentives here, if you make a false accusation, you will be permanently banned from the form. I will be investigating any claims made.

I'm just trying to maximize user welfare here, so if you guys think these are bad mechanisms/suboptimal overregulations, or if there are additional cases you think should be considered, please let me know below! All comments/suggestions/questions are welcome!

(How can we enforce the bans? Well, there's a literature in computer science on how to catch kids who cheat by copying code. In principle, these CS methods can be used to detect highly similar entries on a matchmaking form. We'll just delete entries determined to be evading a ban.)

Have a blessed day!

EDIT: I'm now heavily reconsidering the ban on ghosting due to a comment below. Please share your input on this if you have any. I don't want to enter the realm of policing manners (outside of extreme cases) because that leads to a huge slippery slope. Unlike ghosting I think, the other two bans can be defended from an efficiency standpoint, not a purely manners one. Of course, if there's a reason that ghosters cause inefficient matchings, I'd be happy to hear it.