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He was my 6th birthday present. It’s all I asked for ever since I was able to use words. He was 19. God, he lived such a long, fulfilling life. I’d like to say that all the love he was given kept him as healthy as long as he was, just until he wasn’t anymore. In the last three months he declined rapidly. I feel like a hole has been punched in my life, and the whole world shifted. I feel wrong without him. I knew this day was gonna hurt, I guess you just don’t know how until you get there. I don’t really know what I’m doing or saying. I just more than ever needed to vent. Please let this get easier.
It gets better with time.
For me, the absolute worst is the first few days after. It's an absolute shock to the system, and I just can't imagine continuing life. It all seems so unfair, so cruel, so harsh. It's just so quick and final - here one day, then gone the next and there's nothing I can do about it. I have no control over it. It's a seismic shift in my own life.
It physically hurts, and I have no option but to feel it. It's so painful and time seems to go so slowly. I go from being in tears from one minute, to having great clarity and realising it'll be ok, to being distraught again the next.
After the first few days, I find that the lows (while still low) aren't quite as low. Each day, it gets just a teeny tiny bit easier. Bit by bit, over the course of months, a little more light comes back into my life.
You never forget, and you'll still get sometimes get sad, but it gets easier with time.
It's the cruel price you have to pay for loving an animal.
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No problem - glad I could help. Hope you're feeling a bit better now at least. :)