I can’t stop crying over this and I feel like a horrible person right now. On Sunday night, my mother found a 3 week old kitten on our driveway and she couldn’t find the mother anywhere, so she decided to bring her in. We both decided that we would both care for her and try our bestest to provide a good kitty life for her since she didn’t have a mother.

We bought her some KMR powder and gave it to her, but she wouldn’t eat much and it would worry us a bit. Not only that, but she also had a massive flea problem. My mom and sister didn’t want to take her to the vet, so I snuck out and took her myself and the vet didn’t tell me that she was dying. They told me that her flea infestation was causing her to not eat, so they bathed her, got most of the fleas out and gave me some gel like substance to help with her eating.

Ever since I thought I was treating her well. Feeding her every 2 hours, stimulating her bottom,giving her medicine every 12 hours, combing the fleas out and letting her rest in her playpen, everything seemed fine. Today she wasn’t fine, she wasn’t eating and it worries me immensely. All the feedings for today were the same, she wasn’t eating anything. She pooped twice and peed only once, and I thought the pooping was a good sign, but she still wasn’t eating.

I went to go pick up some food with my mother and before I left I decided to check up on her. She looked sleepy and was laying in her usual spot, so I pet her and tucked her with a blanket and left. When I came back she was gone, I picked her up and her body was limp. I freaked out and realized that she was gone and I just started bawling my eyes out. I really thought that I had a chance of keeping her alive and well, but I was wrong. I feel bad that she died alone. I wasn’t there by her side nor in the same room as her and that eats me up so bad. I didn’t want her to die alone or think that I wasn’t by her side.

I feel horrible, I feel lied to, I feel like shit, I feel guilty and more, I feel sad. I really thought I had a chance of keeping her as my new kitty cat, but I guess not. I hope she knows that I loved her alone and it wasn’t my intention to leave her to die alone. I miss her already, I can’t stop crying over this. I have her body wrapped in a tiny towel and she is cold to the touch and starting to bloat. I love you Kipichi, I’m sorry that this had to happen. I think we are going to bury her tomorrow morning, it’s late here where I live and just want to cry while she lays her tiny body on top of me. I love you Kipichi, goodbye my sweet girl

Edit: Wow! I first want to start off by saying thank you. All of your words, advice, and comfort is so kind and I appreciate every single one of your comments. It means the absolute world to me and I cherished every single one of them. I’m sorry if I’m not able to respond to all, some of the comments do cause me to start crying and I’m trying my bestest to hold it all in together, but guys it truly means the world to me. I want you all to know that I have read every single comment and they all touched me and you all gave me an understanding of how baby kittens work. I greatly appreciate that, but appreciate more the kind words you all have said to me. I hope some other person who is going through the same situation as me is able to find comfort in these comments like how they comforted me. I don’t know any of you, but the fact that you all took some time of your day to comment something so meaningful and comforting truly makes me cry tears of joy. Thank you all so much for it all, you are all kind and lovely and I am so grateful for it all. I knew that taking care of such a young kitten would have a 50/50% chance of living, but me being the optimistic person I am, I had a lot of hope that Kipichi would be able to live the long and happy life that she so rightfully deserved. Things of course didn’t go that way, but all I can think of now is that she’s no longer suffering from the fleas, and anything else that wasn’t detected by the vet. I do hope she’s enjoying her time up there in kitty heaven with her relatives and siblings, but I will miss her a lot. Me and Kipichi have spent little time together, but in that short amount of time, I was able to form a bond with her and love her eternally. I loved her before, I love her now, and will always love her. This wasn’t meant to happen to her and I prayed to God to keep her alive and well, but I now understand that she was tired and my Kipichi just wanted to let go. I tried my bestest with her and I hope she realizes how I would go above and beyond for her. I truly do love her and I’ll miss the little memories we had formed, like syringe feeding her as we watched Sex and The City, and making you dance silly dances. As some of you said, life is unexpected and you can die at any moment, so all we can do now is hug our little fur babies tight. I love you Kipichi, I always will, thank you for the memories and thank you for letting me take care of you. Have fun with your family up there, I’ll miss you, goodbye and goodnight.