As the title says, my baby boy just came home from his (quite expensive) hospital stay after having been diagnosed with a blocked urethra. I rushed him to the ER Vet in the middle of the night because I was so worried about his suffering when I realized he was in a lot of pain. It’s hard not to beat myself up for not realizing the signs sooner since it already happened once, he just seemed to be very uncomfortable for a while and then started yowling and gagging in pain. They were able to insert a catheter and he stayed overnight for some more monitoring while I went home worried sick. He’s currently home and recovering and seems to be doing better but I can’t help but worry about what I will do if this happens for a third time and he would need a perineal urethrostomy (a surgery to make his urethral opening bigger) as vets have recommended.

It’s with an obviously heavy heart that I’m even thinking about this, but I’m trying to be realistic about the level of care he may need and the level of care I can provide. I’ve already spent nearly 6k on his medical expenses (the first blockage, they found calcium stones and he had to have a cystotomy to remove them) that I’m paying back on a loan basis (Care Credit) and that has been a hardship on me financially. Add in the prescription diets, the extra vet visits, and other expenses and I feel worried that I’m running out of the kind of finances I would need to give him the best possible care so he can live comfortably and be as healthy as he can. I love him so much, his sweet cuddles, thundering purrs, the softest cloud-like fur, the way he’ll nuzzle his little head into the crevasse of my palms, the way he hops onto my chest (from the ground!) when I come home from work. I want to give him the best life possible and the best care possible, so he can be happy and healthy like he deserves.

I adopted him from a rescue when he was about a year old, and his foster mom told me he was actually a stray who got TNR’d (trapped, neutered, returned) when she realized he was the sweetest boy who could use a loving home. In the foster home, there was an overwhelming amount of cats and he ended up getting bullied by some of the cats there and had to be quarantined away from them :( Because of this, his foster mom said he would be a great candidate to be a single cat so he could get all the peace and love he wanted! But I am concerned and frequently wonder if he feels stress and anxiety from being alone while I’m at work, even if I do try to enrich his life as much as possible once I’m home by playing, interacting, and spending quality time with him.

I’m feeling so torn because I don’t know if this means that it would be significantly more humane for him to rehome or surrender him to a family that might be able to afford better care then I am capable of in the long run. I don’t want him to suffer because of me or because I can’t afford to give him the kind of quality of life or attention that he might need you know? And to be honest, I’m quite scared and anxious about this being a recurring situation, and I’ve read and researched that while most cats do go on to live comfortable lives post-surgery, it doesn’t mean it prevents any blockages from recurring, which is seriously awful news to hear.

I was wondering if anyone has been in a similar position and how you navigated a situation as delicate and difficult as this one. I’ve been feeling so down worrying about how to best care for him. Not looking for advice on what decision I have to make or should make, just would like to hear the experiences of cat mamas like me have had with their cats and urethral blockages. Thank you in advance for listening.