When I was younger I used to think that I am just workaholic, just another cog in the huge clockwork system called "society", that I value compensation more than anything else. However, as I grew older I started to learn more about the thing called "emotions". I realized that I may be using work as a diversion for me to receive the validation that I crave for.

It occurred to me when I assessed my so-called "love language", just to better increase my chances of becoming datable. Mine was "Act of Service". At a glance you would thing that its such a chivalrous and noble love language. However, as I dig deeper into it I realized that it is rather selfish or maybe I am just narcissistic, messiah complex perhaps. I wanted to feel needed and I wanted to feel wanted.

Going back to the point that I am trying to make, after all these years maybe I obsessed myself with work because its easier to get validation, praise, and to feel needed there. My efforts are directly rewarded and it makes me feel that it is more worthwhile and rewarding, compared to taking a risk at people and getting emotionally scarred.