I've made some posts in the past regarding my cat. I've had her since March, and she means the world to me. I know 6 months isn't a lot compared to other cat owners but to me, I've grown to love her more and more each day. Her infections didn't manifest until early his month and we immediately took her to the vet when we knew it was getting worse. I hate myself for not giving her the help that she needed as soon as I got her 6 months ago, and I'll hate myself even more if she passes away.

For 6 months I took care of her, fed her, played with her, cuddled with her, and even kissed her despite knowing that she had ear mites. I knew I had to take her to the vet but then the virus happened and all the vets nearby temporarily closed.

She is a very energetic cat, only a little over a year old, incredibly friendly, and I fell in love with her the first time I saw her. I started thinking about the years I'll spend with her, spoiling her and loving her.

But I just got off the phone with the vet. They said she has a 50/50 chance of making it. If she manages to respond to the meds that are currently being given to her, then that's a good sign, but if her body doesn't, and her immune system collapses, it's over.

I'm shaking and crying as I'm typing this. I don't know what to do. She's my first cat ever. And I love her so much. As much as I don't want to lose her, there's a possibility that I won't even get to take her home alive.

I even ordered a harness for her online and got it weeks prior her confinement. She even has new food that she barely got to touch. I had plans to buy her a new carrier and a sleeping bed. I had so many plans to spoil her and give her an amazing life.

But now it just feels like it's never going to happen. Apart from things that are happening to my cat, I've also been struggling mentally. I don't know how to cope anymore.