I am truly indecisive about every major or minor decision in my life. All these possibilities, experiences, things you could do, things you could master, all these places you can go to. All the life branches, like Salvia Plath's Fig Free.

I am truly always indecisive.

• Do I want to keep working at my stable corpo job or do I want to live a rock n roll life nomadic life and live in a van?
• Do I want to to move to another state and see my parents twice a year or do I want to see them an appreciate them frequently while they are alive?
• Do I want to be masculine or feminine? Am I genderqueer?
• Do I want a monogamous or a polyamorous relationship?
• Do I want to pay $2900 a month and live in downtown or do I want to live in cheap suburbs?
• Should I quite my job become a full-time trader or continue doing 20 things in parallel.
• Do I want to get into professional poker?
• Do I want to start a tech company?
• Do I want to be a Youtuber/Twitch streamer?

I see all these fig tree branches, but unlike Salvia, I want to experience as many branches as I can in parallel. I want to experience every single thing while I'm alive, but I'm afraid time doesn't let us be Jack of all trades. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I should probably just take one branch and go all the way and sacrifice the rest. Mix max principle.

I don't want to waste time thinking about my every decision and every outcome anymore. There is no mistake. I'm going to have a wild life full of experience in the roaring 20's.

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p.s this movie scene perfectly describes my emotions at the moment.