In all seriousness?

My father.

I’m No Contact with my dad, as is my brother. Our sister is low contact because, “she wants to know what the crazy is up to.”

For anyone not in the know: children of narcissists tend to have roles. A golden child (my brother), an invisible child (my sister) and then a scapegoat (me).

My father was banking on my brother being his retirement plan, my sister took care out our disabled mother meaning he didn’t have to worry about her, and I was the proverbial punching bag.

Nothing I ever did was good enough, worthy of praise, let alone acknowledgment.

This is a man who refused to believe my mother when she explained that the reason I wasn’t home was because I had was going back to school and had started college.

This is a man who chased me out of the house for putting away a fork.

This is a man who didn’t talk to me for nearly two weeks after I got in with an aerospace company because he felt I didn’t deserve the job.

But to make a long story short, my brother bought a house to support the family and we paid him rent.

My father because he was a hoarder, trashed the house in a fortnight. When Covid hit he was getting the most money from unemployment. He got fired from his job just as Covid hit, so he qualified for additional assistance. He never paid my brother a dime for rent and my brother nearly lost the house.

Love went on. Things change. Dad moves out with his girlfriend (mom passed a year earlier) and my brother starts throwing away his trash. There’s a huge fight between everyone, and my brother and I decide to go NoCo. We’re done with his shit.

Recently I learned from my sister who gave me an update that, “Congrats Cannabaum. You are the worm that lives in his brain. You are his Disney villain.”

Apparently, he’s managed to convince himself that I convinced his other son (my brother) to stop talking to him, and when word finally got around that he was a grandfather, he now believes I am the reason he “can’t see his grandchild”. God forbid he taken ownership of the fact he took advantage of my brother and destroyed his house, a house he’s spent so long fixing.

Nearly three years of no contact, and he’s still blaming his idiocy and laziness on me.

Not entirely sure why I ended up as a scapegoat, but it does hurt sometimes y’know?