My first reaction is "no" before I even read the article. The focus should be on how they are modelling the conflict resolution, not blaming each other for starting the fights. Kids are very easily stressed. But I'm sure there's more nuance than the headline says, so I shall read on.
Hax 8-20-21 Daily Column Here

Nick has a great illustration of kids playing house in a sandbox, discussing how gender roles work (pie maker versus slammer of doors.) Love it.

**LW: Wife and I are Opening for SLAM and The Doors Lately and We Think the Kids Noticed.*\*

First up, LW explains the kids are teenagers. That's still smart to know what's up, young enough not to know how to deal with the constant bickering. Youngest teen is freaked out. LW thinks that they are old enough to know some of the issues underlying fights between LW and wife. (No, don't do that until you're headed towards separation and divorce.) So Hax: burden them or unencumber them? Hmm, this sounds more like harvesting cucumber vines to me than parenting.

Hax suggests naming the tension, not the source. "Complex conflict spilling over." (Actual details like "your mom wants to move in with the poolboy" can wait for later.) Apologize for the rancor and its impact on the kids.Emphasize they the parents are working on it (if true. If she's already wearing bikinis and packing, obviously not). Emphasize this will pass. Hopefully not like a kidney stone, but yeah, everything passes sooner or later. Very Taoist and vague. And a teenager will call BS on that one in a nanosecond.

Hax's idea is to 1) de-escalate their imagination from disasters, etc. to something more reality-sized. 2) model that problems are to be talked about, even when it gets heated and messy. 3) you both care about them. 4) you are careful not to promise anything you cannot guarantee.

Also please, please, relocate the arguments to a counselor's office and out of earshot of your kids. Do better now or do not: there is no "try" as Yoda would say.

Most important to reassure them: The kids could be scared out of their mind they'll get divorced and they'll have to apply from college at a homeless shelter or whatever crazy scenarios they have in their head.

"Mom's gonna take you, you're the baby, while I get stuck with Dad as he slumps into post-divorce depression and alcoholism. I hate you, you're so lucky. Gimme your extra cookie."

LW: No Babies In the Cards for Me; But Now My Mom Won't be a Grandma. How do I Console Her?

Daughter's baby-having plans fell through. She's OK. But she sees her mom is a bit sad, as she was her mom's one shot at grandkids. She feels weirdly like she should apologize but why? What can she do instead?Hax suggests telling her the truth, that LW knows her mom is sad and that if she could fix that, she would, and she thinks her mom would be a boffo gram. That and a loving relationship will suffice as support.

This one is definitely family-themed. I feel a little wistful for my mom now reading this, even though she was a grandma.