I've been taking care of my grandparents for over 10 years with help from my youngest uncle. My grandmother has Parkinson's and is wheelchair bound and my grandfather has leukemia.

During that time I lost my mom, who needed me but our relationship was strained to say the least, I tried but feel I ultimately failed her.

I do my best to juggle it all, finally stopped working about 2 years ago, gave up most out of the house hobbies. I'm almost 40 and haven't been married, have no children and spent several years shutting down mentally & emotionally. I've been getting help for those issues.

My two uncles are both having more and more health issues. I've told them I'm not a retirement plan as I hope to - at some point - have my own life.

I do try to take time for myself but I'm all anyone has. Neither of my uncles had kids and I have no siblings. If I'm honest with myself I know I'll end up caring for my uncles when the time comes. I've always been a mother hen but I never intended this to be my life.

When I do plan time out or get away I get guilt from my youngest uncle (who helps me with my grands). Yet at the same time he always tells me that I don't do anything. He never takes time for himself except to go to work, he is anti-social at best. I know he's overwhelmed and angry but it's frustrating bearing the brunt of his moods. When I make a mistake, I get yelled at like I'm a child. I do stand up for myself but it's getting tiring. Both he and my grandfather are very patriarchal, my grandmother is as well. When I try to solve a problem were having I get shot down and told I don't know what I'm talking about. If I try to say my peace I'm told to stop being hysterical. I keep my emotions very internalized because I've been treated this way my entire life so I'm very much not "hysterical". At any rate each time they discount my opinion or solution they - or usually my youngest uncle - end up screwing things up royally.

Is anyone else in a similar spot? Any ways to deal with the attitude of my uncle? I've given up trying to change my grandfather's perspective.