After being grandmas caregiver for 4 years, watching my Mom and S.O. Die a few months ago and my grandma making me feel guilty for being there for my dying mother and not her I put my grandma in Assisted living and moved away. My sister, who offered zero assistance with grandma when I begged for help insisted she was now in charge because I moved away. Whatever you see what it’s like to get the middle of the night phone calls when she falls. Grandma got sent to the hospital the other day and my sister is not providing updates. Grandma had surgery and my sister waits 12 hours to let us know the outcome. I know I can call the hospital and ask but I’m so emotionally drained and my sister really needs to be providing these updates. I’m honestly not sure if my grandma is dying or not so I decided to fly back for the weekend. I hate asking her for an update because she is just so bitchy about everything. I can’t decide if I’m flying back because I really want to see grandma or if I’m trying to prove a point because I’m sure she telling everyone at the hospital how she is the only one who cares. I’ve been so depressed since August it’s hard to function some days and I avoid confrontation. I’m not sure if im venting or looking for advice. How do you handle a sibling who previously didn’t want to be bothered but now is the martr and won’t update anyone?