My father (69) was diagnosed with stage 4 small cell lung cancer end of June and started chemotherapy in the beginning of July. Everything was fine until Monday night where he got fever and started coughing really bad. After throwing up twice and starting to feel an unbearable painful on the right side of his chest I called the oncology department and he got admitted right away.

Blood work was done and his infection numbers were high so they started treating him with antibiotics. This happened 10 days after the first chemo pills. I am living with my parents to help them through this situation. I called the hospital and I am the one communicating with doctors and nurses due to language barriers. Even though his pains have gone significantly down, his oxygen levels have dropped to below 90%. Since Wednesday his legs and stomach has started to swell and we have been suspecting oedema. He doesn’t have fever, infection levels are dropping slowly and his overall conditions are okay. He is just uncomfortable due to all the swelling.

The problem starts here. After being at the hospital for 6 days straight he is tired of being here and since things are not improving fast he is starting to suspect that the doctors are not giving him the right treatment. He is saying that nobody knows what they are doing and that they are trying to kill him. I try to explain him that he slowly getting better and it’s important that he drinks and eats but he has refused to eat and only drinks a little amount of water since he thinks he is getting more bloated by drinking. My dad is not well educated and he is very stubborn, thinking he knows better than anyone else. Having a decent education, I am trying to explain him the best way possible that doctors are doing their best and he should trust them but now he had turned around the whole situation on me saying that I am not translating his words accurately.

I know it has been a mental rollercoaster for him to get such a diagnosis. However, I feel like he has started to say hurtful things to me and mom. He is letting his frustration out on us and in turn I am struggling to mentally stay composed. This is draining the small amount of energy I have left in me. I have been trying to create a balance between work and the hospital. I am barely sleeping. Answering calls from the hospital and translating if necessary. I don’t know how to cope with this anymore. I don’t know how I can convince my dad that doctors are doing their best to help him.

If you have any advice on how I can cope with his frustrations or how I can approach this situation please feel free to share. I am mentally drained and I don’t know how to approach this situation anymore.