Please be kind… I have no one else to go to for advice.

I’ve been with the government for about 4 years. My first role was an AS which I did very well at, and then was asked to take on a EC role. I’ve been in my EC role for 2.5 years. I’ve never been fantastic at this job as this type of work just isn’t for me- but in the last eight months or so, my performance has significantly declined due to some pretty intense mental health issues.

I never kept in touch with my colleagues from my AS role. And do not feel comfortable asking my current manager or colleagues for a reference. I have a bachelors degree, but do not speak French.

At first, I thought about really just pushing hard and trying to do a good enough job over the next three months to earn a decent reference- but I don’t think that will be possible anymore.

I am months behind on assignments, and constantly feel like I’m letting my team and my boss down. I’ve also just been extremely sensitive and emotionally exhausted. Recently I can’t even answer “ how are you?” without tearing up.

I desperately need out of this job. I’ve been granted WFH status until March, and I’m getting an occupational therapist soon, but I know these accommodations are not enough for me to do well at this job. It’s too challenging for me, especially at this point in my life. It’s not healthy for me, my employer, or my colleagues for me to be in this role anymore.

I am absolutely willing to change jobs and take a demotion, but I feel like I’m stuck. I don’t have the confidence to go in an interview and pitch myself, nor do I have positive references. There’s no reason why anyone would want to hire me, over another candidate.

Integrated disability management has advised me that they do not assist with finding a new job/ can’t place me anywhere else.

I fully support myself and need an income to keep myself afloat.

What do I do?