Excuse me for the trauma dump. I just feel like I've screwed up everything in college. My life feels like it's spiraling out of control sometimes. I still attend classes but I feel super disconnected, and I can't get any work done. I'm aware I have a problem... I just feel so helpless doing anything about it. I'm more angry at myself for not really making much progress in terms of recovery or even improving in my classes. I want to try to get more involved, but feel so controlled by this stupid anxiety and thus feel more disconnected from the school more than ever. I'm not sure what to do, but sometimes it just feels like it'd be better if I just went away