Title says it all.

Listen. I’ve been a frequent flyer at Chipotle since Ozzy was on his burrito diet when The Osbornes was still on TV. I probably eat there once a week. I was having a particularly crummy day today and wanted a burrito bowl. (And before ANYONE comes at me for wanting Chipotle or saying it sucks….I just wanted comfort food and for me…it’s chipotle.) So I drive over to our ONLY location in town and I walk up to see a chaotic, hand-scribbled sign on the door:

Out of Carnitas, Medium Salsa, Guacamole, burritos, quesadillas,…and TORTILLAS.

I thought to myself, there’s no friggin’ way this place is out of tortillas. That’s like Starbucks being out of coffee. But because I usually order a bowl, I thought I could make it work. Get up to the counter, and sure enough. No ‘ritos for anyone. Then I peak at the line up…there’s hardly anything prepped. I wanted veggies, and I took the last of the pitiful amount left (sorry) and everyone behind me groaned when they said they’re now out of that too. Then, she says it. The thing that pushed me right over a f**king cliff: They’re out of cheese.

What. The. Actual. Fuck. How are they even open when half the restaurant is out of stock? And why didn’t anyone just run to one of the, I dunno, 5 grocery stores near by and pick up the stuff they needed? There was like 10 people working in there…how is this possible, honestly? Then the girl puts my pitiful bowl in the bag sideways, so I have to carry it like a football instead of a normal bag.

This place is ALWAYS out of shit. Before today, I’ve seen them be out of: chips, lettuce, chicken, cheese, corn salsa, etc. But today was the kicker. I don’t know what they need—new management, an intervention, undercover boss, an exorcism….but they need help, dude.

Anyways. I’m not a student, but I just moved here and I need to know where I can get a burrito bowl in town when my job stresses me out. I work on campus, but I’m willing to drive on my lunch break, obviously.