I read the post about someone having sex with their AP in the AP’s new bed to break it in because of a dead bedroom.

I’ve had sex more than once at an AP’s place and always come away feeling pretty dirty about myself.

The cake I regret eating the most though was six or seven years back.

I’d seen this woman on and off for about a year, purely sexual. She worked for a Social Governance organization and I’m an investment banker so I think deep down she didn’t like me that much, but I thought she was smart and sexually she was pretty wild.

We’d stopped seeing each other because she decided to lean into her marriage which I can respect.

About a year later, I get a text asking me to talk.

She suggests we meet for coffee near this hotel we used to use, so I figured she was going to see if I was still keen and then invite me to go to the hotel with her.

I turn up and she’s quite pregnant. Seven months to be exact.

She and her husband focused on their relationship, built some bridges, and decided to start a family.

I was pretty happy for her and congratulated her.

She then told me that it had been about four months since she’d gotten laid.

Her husband had a literal micropenis. It was about three quarters the length of your pinky finger fully erect. I’m not proud to say that early on in our relationship when she told me, I didn’t believe her and she showed me a photo.

Once she started to show and got a bit bigger, it became very challenging for him to enter her and he became frustrated and stopped trying.

She said that pregnancy hormones were what they were and she (gotta love Aussie women) “Needed a good seeing to.”

I didn’t quite know what to say but I was like, “Ummmm… Ok.”

So that’s what we did. We went to the hotel, had fairly energetic sex for the better part of an hour, and then we left.

As I made my way back to the office, I felt a bit weird about the whole thing. Not really my finest moment.

A few days later, she texts me and basically says that sex was amazing, exactly what she needed, but that she felt horrible about herself now. She said she was blocking my number (I never called or texted her) and she asked me to do the same for a year to stop her from reaching out.

I blocked her.

About two years ago when I upgraded my iPhone, I noticed her number blocked and so I unblocked it, but I’ve obviously not heard from her since.

But yeah, that’s some cake I wished I’d taken a pass on… it was good cake, just gave me a bit of an upset tummy afterwards.

Any cake stories you regret?