So I already have a BF I’ve been dating for 3 years. Never would have thought of myself as someone who would cheat, EVER. But I got so drunk on Saturday I couldn’t think straight and ended up hooking up with a young man at the party.

He and I had instant chemistry when we met a month ago. I tried to forget him and didn’t text him back the night we met because I knew he was too attractive. I told him I had a BF. I apologized and said he should look elsewhere. He was undeterred.

He was so persistent in the car. I was so dizzy. I let him finger me and... it was freakin amazing. It blurred my rationale. It got so hot so fast. And when he pulled his cock out and it was even bigger than my BF’s (and my BF, a Moroccan, is already ginormous)! My eyes practically popped out of my head. I let him fuck me. And the girth, I’ve never felt anything like it before. I felt a tight stretch in me like nothing else I’ve ever experienced.

I have been standoffish with the hookup since Saturday, thinking over what happened and trying to put together my drunk self and my sober self. Sober me would never have cheated. But now that drunk me made the leap, sober me wants to ride this young man like he never has been ridden before.

I talked to him about it yesterday and told him I don’t know if I want to go forward with anything, but that I hope if I decide not to continue, that we can just be friends. He said he is good with that, but he really wants to fuck me again. My body really wants that. My mind is conflicted.

Just trying to organize my thoughts. Sigh.