Looking for support/clarity. I’ve addressed with my therapist with no resolve. I have CPTSD from childhood emotional neglect/emotional abuse. Since I was a child I used thoughtful gift giving as a means of showing affection that I was unable to verbally express. I also use this as a way to form connections with people.

I have several times bought items for my partner they’ve expressed interest in. He usually is grateful for the thought but exasperated because he has a specific idea in mind for what he is looking for and all I get is the generic.

This backfire of expectation leaves me feeling hurt and dejected. We’ve discussed talking before I purchase items for us or him. I seem to not be able to control the impulse though I’ve gotten better at communication for household/yard items.

He keeps asking why I do this and why I can’t “just stop buying things.” I’m fawn type, he’s at the point he doesn’t know what to say/do anymore bc it seems to him I’m not listening.