I was molested at ~34 months.

Two slightly conflicting versions:

• My behaviour underwent a radical change in a short period of time. Went from open typical toddler with disregard for clothing to emotionally dysregulated kid who insisted on being covered up all the time. Few other things consistent with CSA trauma.

My mom told my sister later that she figured it was a particular neighbor, where I often went to play. Mom's claims that at the time, she hadn't considered that I'd been abused, but it only came to her later when my behaviour persisted. (I never went barefoot in my parents house even to leaving home at age 20)

From one flashback, it wasn't a one time event, but an ongoing. Hand, fingers spread wide, during a time I was telling my parts that it had happened long ago and only once. I realized it wasn't once. Spread fingers from a 3 yr old meant "many"

This adds some questions:

Mr. Clark had two boys of his own, freddie about my age, and eric a year younger. Mrs. Clark was a stay at home mom. This sseems to present some daunting logistics problems for Mr. Clark to be a repeat abuser.

The logistic problem suggests that it had to be someone withing my family. This is also more consistent with stats, particularly for pre-school victims.

The two people with the best access were

• My brother. I shared his bedroom starting about that time.
• My mom. She was a stay at home mom, with anger issues, outbursts of violence, and after my birth postpartum depression or psychosis.

So my brother had regular access every night. (Our bedroom was in the opposite end of the house in the basement.)

My mom had regular access during the day.

The other two members:

• My father was away at work during the day, shared a bed with my mom at night, and being alone with me with no one else in the house for any significant piece of time was uincommon. Same for my sister.

Stats favour my brother. My gut feel says mom. No evidence, not even flashbacks to support either.

This brings me to my questions:

• How fast to young kids show behaviour changes? Is this something that the change would have occurred instantly the day after the first abuse, or is it more likely that it would build as a pattern was established, and I dissociated more and more as the abuse continued.

A slower change could be the 'boiling the frog' situation where the changes were "just a phase"

• Why did this behaviour change not get my parents attention? (No, too late to know the actual reasons, but I'm trying to understand their mindset.)

Spoilers for my ideas. Think a bit before revealing. Maybe even start your reply before revealing.

Reason 1: If it was my mom, then she would want to keep the ongoing abuse secret. In this case, Mr. Clark was an invention to throw my sister off the scent.

REason 2: My parents were seriously hung up about sex and nudity, protesting when the local art gallery had an exhibit that included nudes. I never saw either my father or brother even shirtless outside the bedroom or bathroom. Later from his tan, it was clear that my brother worked shirtless the summer he was a roofers helper, but never at home. This was a time and place when boys, young men, and construction workers of any age, often worked and played without shirts.

• So they didn't even consider that my brother may be using me as a meat toy.
• They couldn't come to terms with how to deal with the scandal if it ever came out, and so were in total denial.

Why was Mr. Clark singled out? Why not one of the other men?