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This is the text of a meme over on CPTSDmemes.
I'm starting to come out of this. I'm 70.
Up to starting therapy 1.5 years ago I lived in my head. Filled with self loathing. Filled with "I'm not enough" Not good enough, not thin enough, not pretty enough, not rich enough, not smart enough, not worthy, waste of space.
Ashamed of sex and nudity. Ashamed of showing skin. Ashamed of wanting sex. Ashamed of my body. Ashamed of having emotions. Ashamed of being ashamed about having emotions. Ashamed about being ashamed.
That is changing.
I went on a date last week. Hooked up. Got naked with another guy. Did it in a park on a picnic table. Have another date with him later this week. Going to the museum.
I was very straight forward with my partner: "I'm scared. I'm nervous. I've never done this before." I also warned him, that throughout most of my life when people came close to being close, I pushed them away. He was sweet, gentle. Accepting.
We can heal.
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- 1 year ago
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