in every single job i’ve had i’ve been sexually harassed. my old therapist said it’s cause grew up thinking i was an inconvenience and thus kinda became a people pleaser with no boundaries, (i’m also autistic and often don’t realize im getting fucked over or that i don’t feel comfortable until the damage is done)

because of that AND overworking/burnout AND my cptsd getting so much worse - i’ve been unable to have a job for a year now.

i certainly don’t have the privilege of doing this, i’m drowning in doctor bills and credit card debt and fear i might be homeless soon but i can’t help the panic and shutdown i go through when i just think about getting a new job and feeling like that again. i’ve applied to so many jobs and even gone to many interviews but i think i’ve self sabotaged a lot without even realizing, like i wouldn’t call back a job because my brain and body just won’t cooperate, just compel tell shut down can’t even leave bed. even with the simple logic that i need a job to live.

i also know that having a job would make many things easier in my life and that i’m not guaranteed to get harassed again especially cause i recognize i have boundary problems but it still sends me into a panic. i don’t know what to do anymore…every time i think about having a job i feel like i’m gonna die which sounds so dramatic but it’s my unfortunate truth. does anyone have any tips of how to work through this?