I don't want kids. There are probably a million reasons why I don't want kids and everything short of getting my tubes tied because I'm too young, I've done, in an effort to never have that "oopsie". I do not possess natural maternal instincts when it comes to children. Like, at all. I have actively avoided them all of my life and continue to do so to this day. Their screaming and crying trigger my hypersensitivity so much that I have to wear noise canceling headphones to stores. Oddly enough, I do have extremely strong maternal instincts for grown ass adults, though. I'm the "mom" friend of every group I've been part of. Even when I'm the youngest by 2 decades.

But, I still have been told by friends how it's different when it's your own kid and how I'd be such a great mother and I just think, no, I wouldn't be. If I didn't kill myself during the pregnancy, I'd kill both of us after a month of sleep deprivation and being on edge from the constant triggering noises, textures, and smells.

And I have never felt more seen than when I see threads on parents who have kids that either didn't want them or wish they never had them but are still good to them. Because, if just validates the fact that a lot of people DONT change their minds about wanting kids just because they have them and that it is OKAY for me to decide not to have any.

I have such bad mommy issues that I project them onto my service dog and spent last August 12th throwing up constantly as I desperately made my dog a birthday cake because it was his birthday and I felt like I'd be a bad dog mom by not making him a cake. As if he knew what fucking day it was.

Anyone else?