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I guess I figured that my needs made me unacceptable. So I became good at masking them and became ā€œunreadable.ā€ Over the years Iā€™ve learned this makes me appear cold and invulnerable to others, which is scary for them, and so I became isolated. I canā€™t have healthy relationships because I canā€™t express my desires and needs, I just shut down and even feeling like I have a need triggers me. I want love so badly but Iā€™m ashamed of my desire for attachment.

Iā€™m hoping that I can start to accept that my desires are not wrong and ask for what I want from others.

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Please donā€™t be ashamed of your desires!!! I myself have a lot of trouble connecting to people and feeling affection in any way. So most of the time it leaves me feeling unloved and either clinging to the person even more or just extremely lonely. I also long and desire a deep connection with all my heart šŸ„ŗ maybe one day as we healā¤ļø

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2 years ago