These past four years of college have been torture. I’ve been struggling with homelessness, abusive family, disability & chronic illness, gender dysphoria and not being able to medically transition, etc. on top of being a full-time college student. All while suffering from CPTSD, DPDR, major depression, DID. My graduation is tomorrow and I’m realizing none of this was worth it. All the misery and all the torture at the hands of an abusive institution and shitty friends? None of it was worth it at all.

Don’t tell me to celebrate or be proud. I survived but it wasn’t worth it. Just acknowledge my suffering and how hollow this achievement is. I suffered so much for nothing. I powered through on empty. And here I am, wishing I was fucking dead, the day before graduation. My family won’t be coming to see me. I had to beg the school to help me with moving to my summer housing. My friends make jokes about my situation and trauma. Everyone expects me to be happy and perform normalcy for them like some kind of jester. Fuck that. No more. I won’t do this any more.