As above. My family was neglectful when I was in high school but gave me a lot of freedom. Starting when I was 16 I often ended up in friend groups of people who were between 18-25 years old and had trouble relating with other adults their age. A lot of them had their own traumas that they were working through, but they imparted a lot of wisdom to me and I still fondly remember the time I spent with them. Now I'm 21 and those adults have grown up and moved on. The people I graduated with have largely cut their ties with me as well. Several friends parted ways with me after I came out as trans, and several others are now functioning adults with ambitions and better things to do. They're satisfied being on their own. Meanwhile I'm struggling to find the same meaningful connections, enjoyment of life, and on top of that I'm going through puberty and all its emotional changes again.

I'm going to have a lot of free time between college semesters this summer and my partner will be studying abroad. I opened up my work availability for the explicit purpose of having the time for the same old adventures those people used to take me on. I started going through my contacts and looking for people to try and hang out with and it hit me that I have almost no one to spend that kind of time with. I'd kill to have the same people to chase adrenaline with that I did in high school but I can't find them anymore.

What is this phenomenon? What does it mean that I fell into groups of struggling adults like these and feel like one of them now? Where do I go and how do I find them? When I was a kid I could find myself caving with no equipment or climbing across an old abandoned bridge in just a couple of phone calls. Now I have even more free time but the most exciting thing happening this week is lunch with a friend.

I know this is an issue with myself, and honestly I don't want to solve it. I just miss having groups of people to help me run away from it.