Was thinking about this the today. I'm feeling the need/desire to SH. My T. quite sensibly, asks me why. And the reasons wander all over the place. When I'm down, they help with depression, but I'm not very down right now.

I want them visible. Running down my arm from shoulder to wrist. Down my legs from waist to ankle.

I want to make a declaration: I'm crazy. I'm broken. This? This is nothing. I survived. I'm coping. I getting better. I want the external validation for what's going on inside.

I see this as a declaration that I'm NOT bound by shame.

My GP will give me grief. My T will make notes about my regression.

Not sure yet what the guys who work for me on my tree farm.

And what do I say to customers?

• Blood sacrifice to the Depression God (Sort of true)
• I'm pagan.  Practice for Walpurgis Nacht. (Ok, I lean more to pagan than any other faith, but no, not true.)
• I wanted to make physical scars to match my mental ones.
• What wounds?  (Deny everything)
• Fell into a nest of Side Hill Gougers.  
• I'm mentally ill.  Don't worry.  I'm harmless.
• If my mom can hurt me, why can't I?
• I don't like Me