It borders on self harm. More emotional self harm now, but I used to do it to the point of bleeding a lot (male) it was my earliest coping mechanisms. I remember being locked in my mom's room for hours and discovering that rubbing my pp felt good and I never stopped. Grew up in poverty and jerkin was free. I go into public bathrooms all the time to jerk off, that started when I was in school. It makes me feel good for 3 seconds then anxious for hours. I can't keep doing this 2, 3, 4 times a day, especially living out of my car. I got a single room in college just so I could jerk off as much as I prescribed myself. Classic addict behavior. The only thing that helps me resist is staying so busy or exhausted that I don't think about it at all. No fan doesn't really help either. I grew up with women in my family telling me no woman would ever want me and I'm still not over that. Both my parents did modeling so I know I'm probably good looking, but even a year of no sexual release with that background wasn't enough to make me talk to a girl. Also the girls I have talked to are the extremely unavailable/ healing g themselves. Very Freudian I know, lol. I'm optimistic but I don't know where to start, what now?