I journal by keyboard, often typing as fast as I can, and letting the spelling errors come what may.

Twice in doing so recentlly I used the word safe: "I felt safe there" referring to my bedroom in the basement. and "I'm safe outside" speaking about helping my mom in the garden.

By implication I'm NOT safe in some other places.

I'm calling this my "Undervoice" This is some shard that has access to words.

***

Was chatting with someone, and they  complemented me on my sense of humour.  “It’s a defense mechanism”  I said. “It’s a coping mechanism, and a good one”  They replied. “It’s a defense mechanism.  If I can make people laugh, I don’t get hit as often" I started  I stopped before saying the italic words.  Where did that come from.

I know of possible abuse, but no memory of actual abuse. Certain amount of twilight zone going on here.

***

In Fisher's book (Healing...) she says 'listen to your gut.' and goes on to say it's often something right brain. Holistic, intuitive. It can be full of shit too, but don't discount it casually.