It is a more melancholic breakthrough but its important

Anyone had kept friends or at least associates during a dark time of your life and you realise, why do I have friends with people I dont want to see again or hear again from?

When I was young, a newly discovered gay man at a college uni years I kept seeking attention from older men to, now realised, Void to overcome the abuse or my father, as some problematic daddy issues. Now I am older and still some of those older men are still my friend list I risked my health and safety in some cases just to fill that Void I am surprised I havent been so harmed. I even got sexually harassed a few times.

I realise I dont want to go to that dark place again to fill the Void. I am surprised my closest friend still stuck my me all those years.

But its awkward position on how to unfriend and untangle from that. The thought of meeting some of those men scare me and feel disgusted with myself but I hate the idea if hurting anyone.

Hopefully I am not the only one who made these mistakes