So I'm physically disabled, in my thirties and recently I tried to talk to my mum about one particular humiliating incident from my adolescence--without getting graphic, I was physically humiliated and in a ton of pain. I have a really, really hard time seeing things objectively. Mum basically said that she already apologized and to stop bringing it up and to stop "painting myself as victim" because it only happened once. (I was also bullied because of my disabilities in school.) Oh, and also apparently I contributed to the situation because I made her frustrated and stressed. At least one of my siblings is no longer speaking to me.

Thing is, we were raised in a "good" home and had "good" childhoods, so I really can't see my feelings as valid because, according to people I've spoken to, what I went through wasn't that bad. (I don't approve of my parents' disciplining us with spanking, but whatever.) "Get over it, it was so long ago, your parents love you more than anything..."

So why am I so angry and why can't I get past it? Why am I so obsessed with seeking external validation and getting people to like me? Why can't I trust anybody as an adult or maintain friendships? I've long suspected I was on the autism spectrum, but I was never diagnosed as a child and don't know how to get one as an adult. I'm frustrated, lonely and isolated and in therapy; I joined this subreddit because I needed peer support.

Sorry, just lonely and confused.