I don’t feel comfortable going into details at all, but basically there’s some sexual assault stuff I am really struggling with nowadays. There’s an incest component there too. Somehow being transmasc makes it much harder for me to deal with what happened. I’m struggling even more because of all the toxic masculinity I’ve internalized. I also can’t handle the fact that it happened when I was 14. My older brother did it. My family made me lie about it and hide it. They made me lie to CPS. He’s still living in their house.

I am not in a mental state where I feel safe saying anything else. But daily life is starting to become a struggle. I’m having sexual assault related nightmares on a nightly basis. I’m in a dissociated funk on a daily basis.

Please- say anything to me. I can’t handle the shame. It might be helpful for me to hear from other people who identify as non-binary/ transmasc / men right now if anyone has been in a similar position (although anyone is free to reply). The toxic masculinity component of this is something I just can’t handle.