Today I confronted a Covid denier protester by ripping a flyer in front of his face. I felt good but of cours ehe taunted me , saying "Why so mad?" I badly argued with him . While I badly argued I found a weird thrill when he was saying mean things to me, when I walked away feeling embarrassed and humiliated but also kind of wanted to see him again I realised, I am attracted towards Toxic and Negative people to those who are mean to me, where I feel I want to prove to them I'm good I want to empathise with them and prove to them I'm right and that Im good When people are nice to me I feel like I'm faking it, and that they fell for it and if they show One moment of disinterest I go into a frenzy and think they hate me And I again try to prove to them I'm good

It is just shocking I finally realised this at 26 I guess Now I can finally work on that

Does anyone else feel they gone this way ?