So I had a traumatic relationship that ended five years ago. About two years after it ended, I started a relationship with a new person. I’ve been seeing the new person for about three years and I’m about to move in with them, but something didn’t feel right.

I thought long and hard about it and realized that not having closure from the prior relationship is preventing me from moving forward in this relationship. I can’t tell if I’m hung up on the prior relationship or if I’m just really traumatized and don’t understand what happened.

Whatever it is, I decided after a year of struggling with these feelings that it was worth a shot to reach out to them to try to confront them about some things to get an explanation, and to apologize for some things that I feel bad about.

To my complete shock, they agreed to talk to me, and now we have a call scheduled for tomorrow. The reality of speaking to them after five years is setting in, and im legit having a panic attack right now.

I hope I didn’t screw up and set myself up to be retraumatized, but i can’t go on feeling like i have without at least trying to get some closure and peace. I’m reaching out to this community because of all people i feel like my fellow cptsd peeps might be able to relate.

Edit: Ya’ll that was scary as hell but it went so much better than expected. I recognize that most people on this sub may not be able to do this with people from their past, but I just wanted to update you guys that for me in this specific situation having balls of steel and facing my fear paid off. I feel like I’m a little bit closer to healing.