Ya’ll why am I like this

I got really pissed at my mom because I felt like she was using me as a therapist again, so i just like mentally snapped and confided in her I have PTSD partly because i really needed for her to comfort me and partly to make her stop expecting me to be perfect and available for helping her and “high functioning”. And now I just regret it because she got all emotional and weird and now i feel gross and weird and wish i had just controlled my impulses. Also i realize that was manipulating her and i dont want to turn into that

She’s like trying to be a good and accepting mom lately for some reason and i fooled myself into thinking i could confide in her again without it being painful and awkward lmao

I feel like things are gonna be awkward now because she’s gonna try and “be there for me” when she wasn’t for so long. Im so mad at both her and myself right now and i should have just kept it to myself