I'm pretty much completely incapable of socializing with people. I just don't "get" it. I get no joy from it (I want to though). I have no charisma. No wit. No words, nothing to say, no expression. No friendly chit-chat or banter. Nothing. I feel "slow." I can't read people. I struggle to be present. I can't get out of my head. I'm the "quiet" one. I can't make eye contact, I can't even simply greet people. Nothing I ever say seems to make sense to others. I'm deeply uncomfortable with the thought of being perceived. I hate everything about how I behave to the point of being ashamed. I can barely even form any coherent thoughts anymore. I have no friends, haven't since I was 12. I can't connect with people. It just fucking hurts so much.