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I’d like help interpreting a letter from my potential abuser. (Long)
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I’m new to C-PTSD. Note to Mods: If I make a mistake please help me by sending the text back to me and telling me how to fix it.

TL;DR: If I posted a letter from someone I suspect is being abusive, would people be willing to help me understand what he’s saying in the letter.

I’ve not officially been diagnosed with C-PTSD, but I’ve gotten lots of input from Dr. YouTube and the CrappyChildhoodFairy. As well as some professionals telling me I acted like someone who suffers from CPTSD.

I’m a recently diagnosed autistic adult who didn’t realize he was autistic until he was 54. Part of my self realizations has been that I’ve been subjected to many traumatic situations made MORE traumatic since I’m autistic. I have three members of my family. My Dad, My Mom (both abusive and neglecting) and my brother (abusive).

A little back history: Recently: I called my brother to see if he could help me come to terms with being autistic. He said no, he only wanted a ‘light’ relationship (where we only talked about what TV shows we watched) and he was afraid I was ruining my parent’s retirement.

I’ve recently moved home (with parents 76 and 74) after being tossed out of my home on Xmas eve two states over by my fiancée of four years after she realized she didn’t want to be with a autistic. I’m unemployed and gratefully my parents took me in. It’s been difficult coming to terms with my situation and lack of people I can talk to.

After my previous call, I had gone No Contact with him as he’s a mean AH, I need positivity in my life, not more abuse. Later, he announced he was breaking quarantine and coming for a visit in late March/Early April. He lives in NYC, coming to a southern state during a pandemic, yea, that makes sense. My parents claim this was a long planned visit since he works remotely, only put on hold by my presence.

I sent him a letter (which I’ll cut and paste into a comment (if that is done)). (Edited for privacy)

He replied, I’ll post that letter too (edited for privacy).

Now I just want help with interpreting his letter back to me. My mom read it and initially thought it was a good letter. The letter makes me feel weird, like there is a subtext that I’m missing. My therapist didn’t like the tone of it, but only after I had her reread the last paragraph did it seem negative to her.

I’ll answer any questions I can in the comments, and review them hourly from now until late tonight (EST) and into tomorrow (Sunday) too if there’s interest.

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3 years ago