I have a dissociative disorder, and dissociate fairly often. Nowadays, if I dissociate in front of a particularly safe person, I will often start shivering or shaking, feel physically unable to move my body, and go nonverbal.

Going nonverbal in this way is a terrifying experience for me. Not only am I dissociated/ does my mind go completely blank, but my ability to communicate also completely shuts down until I can snap out of it. I find it difficult to ground myself during these episodes.

I often have these episodes in front of a particularly safe person (my professor/ mentor). He notices immediately, stops speaking, and waits for me to become responsive/ speak before saying anything else. But when he stops talking, and that auditory input gets shut off, it actually makes it much harder for me to ground myself.

I was hoping to make some kind of plan in advance in case this happens to me again (it likely will, at this rate). But I’m struggling to figure out how to describe these dissociative nonverbal episodes to my professor, as well as figure out what I could ask him to do to help. He’s very willing to support me but seems to be at a loss for what to do when I go nonverbal.

(Note: We are communicating via zoom calls, which adds an extra layer of complication.)

Does anyone else have experience with going nonverbal like this in front of others? Has anyone else ever managed to successfully help ground you? Any ideas for what I could ask my professor to do if this happens in the future?