I (27M) have been with my GF (:0F) for almost 6yrs. It started off very quickly and at a point in my life, where I was never supposed to move back home. I met her there and she was a comfort. However, she seemed like she was just floating though life as was I. As years went on, I knew I wasn’t doing what was best for me and eventually packed up and left. This was the plan originally but I put my life on hold for love. There was a few times where I was disrespected, like seemingly innocent drunk flirting right in front of me. I should’ve left the first time.

She never cheated per se, but enough to piss me off. I was waiting for her to move away with me, and when i left we chose long distance for a year. During that year, I grew more financially and emotionally in a few months then in the whole 4 years. I was happy. I didn’t miss her when i left cuz it was right for me.

Yet, I forgot that and I had her move here. After almost a year thus far, it seems like the only way I can have her in this new city is to let her take advantage of me(sharing my friends, paying most of the rent). It feels like i’m almost enabling her not to grow and then when I look at how long it’s been, it gives me the ick. It’s like she just wants someone to make all her problems go away and then it becomes my problem. Now, i’m fed up but she’s so nice to me, she does thoughtful things, etc. I don’t know if we trauma bonded but now it feels like i was lying to myself for so long and I have to drop it. So much wasted time, and I still feel like this is my best chance at marriage and kids. Yet, i’m teetering to wanting nothing from no one, just my sanity & peace of mind. Has anyone been in this kind of situation? Did you realize you never loved them?

Feels like I might be doing what’s best for me but also destroying my life and hers, when i could’ve just said no when i moved or months in the relationship.