Hey folx,

I wanna get some feedback because it feels like I'm stuck in this part of the process where I'm acknowledging my struggles but really need the support of others and can't build a safe and meaningful support network.

For context; I regularly attend therapy and have worked with some IOP groups. I'd like to think that while my mental health does play a role in how I build relationships and how willing I am to trust or rely on others that it doesn't ultimately close me off to building community. What I'm struggling with right now is despite me living my life it feels like I've been unable to hold onto meaningful relationships or be with people who respect my needs and boundaries.

I have taken and implemented a lot of advice I've been given. I go out to social spaces like gaming shops for MtG, I attend munches (social events at restaurants or bars), and I do use social media (as responsibly as you can, trying to keep up an internal shield). It's not as though I'm shy about asking people to go out, making plans, or even paying for others to be able to go out alongside me. I've struggled to set boundaries in the past or to make what I want a priority but I have always communicated it in some form or another to varying degrees of success or acceptance.

This might be the negative self talk more than reality but it feels like despite all of that I still struggle to find folks who are actually interested in being more than an aquantiance. People are certainly friendly but it feels like I'm easy to forget or not worth making time for. It's unfair to say that they're actually thinking those things but I really do want people I can depend on and people who enjoy sharing space with me.

I guess my question really comes down to whether or not anyone else has found ways to conveying to others that you want them to include you? Or feeling you belong somewhere rather than you showed up and forced your way in? Feedback would be appreciated from people who are also actively struggling with this or people who have actually built up their support network or found their chosen family.