when i was in elementary school, kindergarten, one day the class was in art class. i was sitting next to this boy and it got to a point during where he was being a curious little boy and wanted to touch down there. me being a child i didn’t know right from wrong but knew it was wrong and uncomfortable. he touched me down there as we were sitting and wanted me to do the same to him but fear of getting in trouble. the teacher knew something was up and when the class was over, i remember the teacher and grandma being there stopping the class to asked if i was touched or something inappropriately that had went on. i remember being scared and i think embarrassed i said no. i know trauma can stifle creativity, i love art, i love looking at art but i’ve wondered from that if it took my ability to make art. it’s hard for me to draw and feeling the block from my own imagination. i’ve always felt i couldn’t draw and then i decided to last year but it feels like it hurt to put pen/pencil on paper and how to use colors. like im not allowing myself to flow.. i have other trauma as well like from family and still dealing with stuff now that has gotten in the way of that. i doubt myself a lot when it comes to my abilities, potential, and gifts and being in survival mode and healing from trauma is like a fight for my creativity and health. i just 24 a couple months ago and been feeling like i need to rush now more than ever especially due to my environment and how unsafe and unhealthy it’s been. but yeah i just wanted to share while dealing with cptsd