gonna keep this relatively short but my (22m) younger brother (13m) and i have a weird complicated relationship. i feel like my older brother needs me to be there for him as i’m the person he trusts the most in the world (he’s told me this several times) since our older brother (24m) is a dissociated emotionally unavailable mess (i am too but in different ways) and in response to feeling this sense of responsibility to care for him i completely shut down. in a dysfunctional family with an abusive narcissist dad and an emotionally unstable PMDD mom (who we live with rn) i am his last resort when it comes to love and care and god it triggers me so much. his mere presence triggers me, i almost feel angry or frustrated. like, this is what it’s come to? EVERYTHING in this family is a fucking mess and I have to pick up the pieces??? i dont deserve this. With all that said, I am moving out in three months and am feeling so much shame. i feel like this response of completely rejecting him (even though he tries every day to put a smile on my face or to connect with me, which just breaks my heart even more) is my brain’s way of making our inevitable goodbye more bearable. idk. all input or advice is appreciated. thanks for reading lovely strangers 🫂