Hi I’m 20F I made an alternate account for my mental health posts. My whole life I’ve been abused and hurt by men. My dad was abusive, my brothers are abusive, my uncle was abusive, my grandfather was abusive… you get the picture. Every guy I’ve ever liked has just ended up using me and/or hurting me.

I don’t hate men or think that literally every single one is bad. It’s just hard for me to let my guard down and trust that a man will actually love me.

Since I can’t fully be vulnerable with a man currently I’m wondering if there’s even a point of me pursuing a heterosexual relationship. I’ve always been attracted to men but now I’m really questioning my sexuality because I feel safer with women but I see myself being in a long term relationship with a man. I don’t know what it is but when it comes to marriage and committed relationships I only want that with a man. But at the same time I feel like I’m always walking around egg shells around men. Maybe I should just stay single lol :(